We came alive, for the first time...

the times when i feel nothing, You bring enough...

abeja88@yahoo.com — Mon, 07 Aug 2006 04:30:20 GMT

This is not my attempt at songwriting, or at being a poet, or anything like that. It's just what happened on paper, as a result of one night alone with God. So... enjoy?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do you know that I love you?
Do you know how much I love you?
You say you do, but let Me show you:

As you feel for them,
I feel for you.
As you hurt for them,
I hurt for you.
As you weep for them,
I weep for you.

Your tears are not hidden from Me,
But MAGNIFIED.
I study every feeling
Behind each one
That falls so gently down your face.
They matter to Me.
You matter to Me.

Let Me speak to you,
My Words.
My words of Life,
My words of Comfort,
That dry away those tears.

I'm here with you now:
Shaping you,
Refining you,
Preparing you.

Let My healing take its course.
I see you now. You're beautiful.
I see you then. You're beautiful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, there it is. Have a truly blessed day everyone!

p.s.
"I pray that out of his glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the LOVE of Christ, and to know this LOVE that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

~Ephesians 3:16-19~

<3 <3 <3

Something a little different...

abeja88@yahoo.com — Mon, 07 Aug 2006 04:27:25 GMT

So, on the way home from Vancouver last weekend with my family, we were a little tired... and hyper... (typerd). The following is a combined effort from my mother, father, brother, and I... an account of things that were said in the car, on the way home. I typed it out exactly how my mom wrote it, without changing any grammar, punctuation, or anything. ENJOY! ;)

I can write with my left hand.

I can write with my right hand.

Aa Bb Cc Dd Ee Ff Gg Hh Ii Jj Kk Ll Mm Nn Oo Pp Qq Rr Ss Tt Uu Vv Ww Xx Yy Zz

Martin Way Olympia Seattle Tacoma Washington Lynwood Northwest I can print with my right hand too. Are I am vertically impaired, but I am not a dwarf. We are going to be stuck in this traffic forever. Even little people are sometimes misproportioned.

I am the unwanted scribe part 2. This traffic was like this earlier. I am not the center of everything. I am not in control. I am not in charge of anything. Thats fine, thats good. My name is I am not. How far are we? Shes playing catch up not catsup! Keep writing, its getting dark. I have finish my chapter.

You know, I wake up in the morning and my right eye cant focus. Mom look at this fry. I was curly but it was not a curly fry. Can I eat it, please can I. Im getting tired. Wheres your iPod Ill sing for you. Doe a deer a female deer. Stop youre tating my ears. Yeah well you mom. She doesnt wear army boots. Your mother wears army boots. Yeah well your moms face! Can you say your grandmother. Amazing grace.

Look, look at those big planes. Do we have the Phantom of the Opera. Its like a flying turd with wings. Its the rhino. Oooh Pelicans, no theyre geese, oh I thought they were geese. My names is James thats what mother called me. Sometimes I forget then I go inside my head and look for James. Marwidge! BonJour, Look there she goes that girl is strange. Heres where she meets prince charming. When did you last let your heart desire. What song is that? The clouds are getting darker. It tastes like Chinese food my burp. Were in Tacoma now. La la la la. Can you feel the love tonight it where we are heming ya Hemingway Nevada. Theres more to do that can ever be done in the circle of life it rules us all the circle of life. Look in our eyes la la la what are you talking about. Bullet to binary. What is that snell (smell). Did someone fart? No were in Tacoma, your mouth is like a magazine. I need something else. How does it start. Oh I know. Many nights we prayed. No wait I need to change the key thats not better There can be miracles when you believe. I think were a little flat. You will when you believe.

Keep going. Its getting dark Decipher it kinda sounds like disciple. Desh (Dash) point skate park not state. Oh Ive been to the Commons. Pikachu to I choose you. Dont say random, its not cool its forcing it. Pokemon, you gotta catch em all. I know more of it but I cant remember it. B T the break in the clouds looks cool. Hebrew is a cool language. The sky is like blueberries. Im not sure I want to be a man anymore. Maybe the one who screams the most screams about himself. I cant be eyes and write at the same time. Youre not mocking me are you. Ages 3 & up its on my box. Yeah were almost home. Tacos are for shells. Yeah something like that. Paulsbo R.V. Mr. Lightyear needs more tape. Thats because the songs been deleted. The link is gone. Ill sing in Swedish just listen. Your voice is a danger we almost had an accident. Skidoo do do. Kisses from the sky tonight I caught one. My muscles ache. So why dont we just walk around the shoreline Did somebody say silence cause I believe in silence. They wont see the fire inside of me. Kelsey went to the Bullpen. I went to that jail with you. I never went there.

Is that a turd plane. No turd planes dont land here, only in Tacoma. On the one hand look at my daughters eyes - dont destroy my dreams. I dream about turd planes all the time.

it's nice to be at peace with You

abeja88@yahoo.com — Sat, 22 Jul 2006 21:25:49 GMT

"When I'm faithless, You are faithful
When I'm lonely, You surround me
And when I am empty, You drown me in your sweet embrace
And when I am broken, You come restore my joy again

When I'm far away, then You draw me
When I am afraid, You surround me
And when I am empty, You drown me in Your sweet embrace
And when I am broken, You come restore my joy again"

~~~Ten Shekel Shirt "Sweet Embrace"~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P.S.
Happy birthday Jason! And happy wedding day Kyle and Sarah!
I love you all.

I passed the port!

abeja88@yahoo.com — Wed, 19 Jul 2006 05:05:39 GMT

In other words,
I got my passport in the mail today! It's so cute, if a passport can be cute? haha. It's all shiny and compact. Like a little book! Cause that's what it is! A little book! HAHAHA. oh boy.

Annnyway,
my mom also made travel arrangements today! I'm leaving for Norway (God willing) on September 16th, at 10:15 pm. This is crazyyy... cause it's becoming more real!

Guess what else!
Kyle and Sarah are getting married in only 4 more days! AHH! I got shoes (finally!) for the wedding today :) They make me happy, teehee.

I had a little bit of a crazy week.
And I was sick part of the week, but now I'm feeling better! And today my mommay gave me a neck/shoulder massage! It was very nice. :]

By the way,
I haven't listened to this album forever. I forgot how much I love it. YAY for Five Iron Frenzy!!!

"Only You can make every new day seem so new!!"

GOD BLESS!!!

we are still far from over

abeja88@yahoo.com — Sat, 15 Jul 2006 09:32:42 GMT

So I wrote this a couple nights ago... yeah. Although I'm re-wording it just a little. :]

Even while God is refining us, even while we have problems, He still wants to use us. He still wants to make us into His "history makers". We have never been worthy in or of ourselves to be just that, but it is what Jesus Christ finished on the cross, it is His blood, which covers us and makes us worthy in His sight. He calls us who are unworthy, worthy.

He chose me.
He seeks me out.
He pursued me.
He died for me while I was yet a sinner.
He loves me.
He is for me.
He will help me.
He will enable me.
He will strengthen me.
He will refine me.
He is with me, ALWAYS, EVERYWHERE, even to the ends of the earth!

WHAT HAVE I TO FEAR?

I can be assured in all of this.
Because He says so.
He has called me, and He will do it!
He will finish it.
He already has.
His voice is kind, and gentle, and encouraging.
His voice enables me to GO.
To walk with Him.

I will walk by faith and not by sight.

My identity is in what HE says HIS vast, limitless love for me is.

I'm captivated.

"And I have seen great things from a distance...

abeja88@yahoo.com — Thu, 06 Jul 2006 18:14:37 GMT

...they beckon me, I follow them. And I move forward..."

--Bethany Dillon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lately I've been learning that God is a gentleman. In my experience, when God wants to tell me something, or when He wants to do something in me, He whispers gently. Sometimes I ignore Him. I brush it aside. Yet, God keeps whispering. He keeps whispering until I pay attention and acknowledge what He’s saying to me or wanting to do in me. This happened to me “like hecka” last week at Lake Chelan. I’m pretty sure it happened for other people there too.

In other news, I’m most likely going to Norway in September for YWAM! It’s like… unofficially official. haha. I was just talking to Elizabeth about this last night, cause she’s going to Hillsong College in Australia in January. We were thinking how it’s so hard to imagine right now – both of us going these places. And it’s not just gonna be a trip or vacation. It’s going to be a way new type of life, for 8.5 months, or in her case, a whole year! We won’t even be able to grasp it until we’re actually there. It’s ca-razy. But prettyyyy cool. :D

Well I do believe that’s all for now.

little update

abeja88@yahoo.com — Thu, 06 Jul 2006 17:51:44 GMT

So I went to Lake Chelan, got back on the 1st. Then it was my mom's birthday! On July 3rd, I went to see Waking Ashland and This Providence in concert. I don't feel like giving a whole rundown on how it went, so I'll just say that it was mucho fun :). Then for the 4th, I went with a bunch of people to Anderson Island. That was also fun! blah blah blah. Now that all that is out of the way, I'll get to what I really want to say...

LAKE CHELAN IS HERE! or... maybe in Chelan...

abeja88@yahoo.com — Sat, 24 Jun 2006 07:52:57 GMT

So a couple days ago I sent in my application for YWAM (Norway)!!!!

Tomorrow morning I'm leaving for LAKE CHELAN with RYC!!!

So I'm hoping that if YWAM tries to contact me once they get my application... they will be able to talk to my parents... or something. Anyway, I'm realllllly tired, and I'm not even finished packing lol. I better get to it!

umm...

yeah, wow, I cannot stop thinking about this verse:

The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.
--1 Thessalonians 5:24

i know now that glory has not a place, near my hands, or any man

abeja88@yahoo.com — Mon, 19 Jun 2006 21:35:58 GMT

So today, I smelled like a (good-smelling) boy. I was out of girl-deodorant, so I had to wear man-deodorant. The end.

P.S.
no more homework!!!!

counting down...

abeja88@yahoo.com — Wed, 14 Jun 2006 23:27:37 GMT

Only... 10 more days until Lake Chelan! Yay!

i know You're calling

abeja88@yahoo.com — Thu, 08 Jun 2006 23:01:04 GMT

I Know You're Calling
--Jeremy Camp

A broken image is sometimes what I see
But the hand that made me is the hand that won't leave me
You've begun a good work that only has begun
And You always lead me, lead me to Your Son
Well I want to know everything You are
Well I want to see Your will for me and I know You'll show me

And I know You're calling, I see Your arms stretched wide
And I feel You drawing, drawing me back again

Another day I can spend with You
You turn the pages telling me what to do
And when I feel like I want to fall again
You always lead me well You lead me to Your hand
Oh well I want to know everything You are
Well I want to see Your will for me
And I know You'll show me

And I know I want everything that You want for me
Help me to understand Your ways
I know I want that You want for me today

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 Thessalonians 5:24 ~
The One who calls you is faithful and He will do it.

Philippians 1:6 ~
being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Genesis 12:1

abeja88@yahoo.com — Thu, 08 Jun 2006 05:31:39 GMT

Genesis 12:1
The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.

abeja88@yahoo.com — Mon, 05 Jun 2006 22:32:31 GMT

decisions, decisions

I think my nose got a wee bit sunburned today! hah.

oo, my hot pocket is done.

me? excercise?

abeja88@yahoo.com — Fri, 02 Jun 2006 02:18:03 GMT

WOW, it's JUNE!

crazy.

Here's what I think... last semester went waaay too quick, and this semester has been dragging.

That's what I think.

I decided something today. I decided that I should make myself be more healthy. haha. As in, actually exercise once in awhile... and eat fruit and stuff. yay. Today I watched the United DVD while walking 2 miles on the treadmill! It was actually quite enjoyable! I felt like I was getting 2 things done at once... getting exercise, and worshipping God! YAY!

1 Thessalonians 5:24!!! is a wonderful verse.

sick

abeja88@yahoo.com — Tue, 30 May 2006 22:16:24 GMT

Ouch. I ache all over. My throat is raw. I'm sick. poor me. haha

He must increase, but I must decrease

abeja88@yahoo.com — Mon, 29 May 2006 03:07:34 GMT

"His Presence Changes Everything"
Michael Staires

"Ours is a journey steeped in covenant. “The Lord is my Shepherd.” “He is my rock and my fortress.” “He is the Glory and the lifter of my head.” These are all covenant statements. These are covenant vows. These are things we recite as we hold up our right hands and look into each other’s eyes. These words speak to me of the various roles that God has chosen to play in my life. What he will be for me.

All of these statements confirm in my heart the fullness of his role and the utter emptiness of my own. What is it, in all my humanness, that God can cling to in his relationship with me? I am unfaithful, I am fickle, I am emotional, I am weak—I will fail. In that alone am I consistent. What is it that I can bring to my relationship with God? There is nothing. That’s a hard thing for me to admit.

In the very first ceremony of covenant, God put Abram to sleep and handled everything on his own. Abram slept through the entire affair with only a dark vision of a pillar of fire walking with him between the two bloody halves of their animal sacrifice. When he awoke the deal was done. That’s it, the whole thing in a nutshell. I can’t bring anything to the table. There is absolutely nothing that I can bring to the arrangement that I can hang my hat on. I can’t say, “Look what I’ve done! Look at the enormity of gifts and bounty that I can bestow on my Lord! See? You should really love me now. Look at all I can do for you!” It’s ridiculous to even consider.

But I can’t seem to get a picture out of my mind. A crowded, narrow street. Jesus being pressed on every side, jostled by the crowd. He’s focused intently on making it to a house where he needs to see a small girl who is very sick. I’m sure he’s thinking of what might await him. Suddenly, he feels energy, power, strength—he feels his essence flow out of him. He whirls and asks those nearby, “Who touched me?” The crowd is perplexed. Everyone is touching him. They surround him on all sides. He asks again, “No—who touched me?”

Someone touched him. Not just his arm or his leg: someone touched his heart. Someone touched him in his core. And this someone didn’t just touch him—someone actually drew from Him. Someone touched him with so much need and so much desperation that they actually sucked the very power to heal out of him.

A poor woman, bleeding from some unknown mysterious ailment for many years, lies on the dusty ground before him. Her head is bowed and she is unable to lift her face to look him in the eyes. She has come to the end. She no longer cares that she will be humiliated. She no longer cares that she’ll have to endure the scorn of the crowd for causing such a distraction, such a delay in the critical visit to see the very sick daughter of a very important man.

She’s unable to be fulfilled as a woman, a wife, a mother. Her life has been about this sickness, this disease for so long. It’s become part of her. She’s tried everything. She’s drained whatever savings her family had, taken by doctors over the years trying to heal the unhealable. She has nothing.

But then she is bathed in warmth. She looks up and sees his face; no pity there. Just love. Complete and undeniable love. The crowd fades away in her mind, and the only two people now in the dusty street are her and this incredible man. She rises to her full height and looks the man in the face. She cannot find words to say to him. He knows that. He knows that there are no words at a time like this. He simply holds out his arms and she rushes into his embrace.

He holds her for a long moment. Then, strangely, he thanks her. She pulls away briefly and says, "You thank me?” He smiles. “Yes, thank you. In you I fulfill my destiny, my covenant. It’s your weakness, your sorrow and pain that cause me to be. It’s your humanness that I love, that compels me. It drives me. Do you know how much I love you?”

She knows he’s not speaking romantically and looks down at her hands—no longer shaking. She feels her toes in the dirt, no longer tingling with loss of circulation. She knows he has accomplished with a touch what many doctors over many years could not. Yes, she knows now how much he loves her. And with that he smiles and turns on his heel, once again lost to the current of the crowd.

But the woman is no longer the woman who bleeds—she is now the woman who touched him. The healed woman. Everything is now different. His presence has changed everything.

It’s my need, my weakness, my humanness that actually draws him to me. He is actually attracted to my need for him. He’s not interested in my claims of independence. He is moved by my dependence. The Bible says that in our weakness he is made strong. We know this verse. But do we really get it? Our independence doesn’t do it for him. God is only God in my weakness. He becomes the King of Kings only when I admit that I can’t do anything by myself.

This is covenant. Once we understand the terms—he is everything, we are nothing—covenant becomes real and the blessings come. We only have all of him when we give up all of us."

---------------------------------------------

from:
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god_article.php?id=7049

Your Word is like honey on my lips.

abeja88@yahoo.com — Sun, 28 May 2006 04:43:12 GMT

If there hasn't already been a time for each of us to stand alone, that time may come. Only, we won't really be standing alone. Because, the One who we are standing for, will be the One standing with us. Not only that, He will be the One standing for us.

sing to the east and the west

abeja88@yahoo.com — Fri, 26 May 2006 23:25:33 GMT

It's only been about 3 weeks since I got home from the Mexico trip. That's weird to me. It seems like I've been home a LOT longer than that. Last night Joanna and I went to visit Generation Church, Central District. The people there are very nice and friendly :) I'm excited about doing GC Interns.

TONIGHT IS THE SHOW!!!! As in The Solid Hour Of Worship! At church. yay! I'm excited.

P.S. I think I'm ready for Summer now.

the more i seek You, the more i find You

abeja88@yahoo.com — Sun, 21 May 2006 21:52:51 GMT

--Matthew 6:33-34 (NIV)

"33) But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

34) Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Stop seeking the process. Start seeking Kingdom, the goal.

Lord, You take my heart away, with Your love

abeja88@yahoo.com — Tue, 16 May 2006 00:52:13 GMT

What can I say?
And what can I do?
But offer this heart, O God
Completely to You

So I'll stand
with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
I'll stand
My soul, Lord, to You surrendered
ALL I AM IS YOURS!

-------------------------------------------------------------

My heart belongs completely and only to Jesus Christ. My soul belongs completely and only to Jesus Christ. My whole LIFE belongs completely and only to Jesus Christ, my Reason. How could I not offer all of me, completely to Him?

my whole life I place in Your hands...

abeja88@yahoo.com — Sat, 13 May 2006 06:43:12 GMT

Hey hey hey. So tonight I went to a free Sonicflood concert at River of Life. woohoo! It was really cool! I'm just so thankful this week is over. School has been so gruling (sp?). Next week is gonna be sorta tough too, but not as bad. All day today I have been cold, and now I'm FREEZING!

So I pretty much love this song. It's an old one, from an old Acquire the Fire CD. But here it is!

TAKE MY HEART

Lord I’ve come to abandon me
Take this life and make it Yours
No more running from my destiny
Draw me ever nearer to Your heart
Ever deeper to Your love

Take my heart, take my soul
All that I have come to know
Take my plans, make them Yours
Let Your wisdom overflow
Take my life, take my will, take my world
Take me, Take me

Lord I’ve come to the end of me
In sweet surrender here I stand
Its Your spirit Lord that beckons me
Draw me ever nearer to Your heart
Ever deeper to Your love

psalm 71 (NKJV)

abeja88@yahoo.com — Fri, 12 May 2006 02:21:11 GMT

14 But I will hope continually,
And will praise You yet more and more.
15 My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness
And Your salvation all the day,
For I do not know their limits.

--In all of our science textbooks etc, we learn about the limits of things, we learn all about how things work and don't work. But who can know the limits of the Creator? We surely don't know the limits of God or of Heaven or of His grace and mercies. So why not let our mouths tell of His righteousness?

16 I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD;
I will make mention of Your righteousness, of Yours only.

17 O God, You have taught me from my youth;
And to this day I declare Your wondrous works.

18 Now also when I am old and grayheaded,
O God, do not forsake me,
Until I declare Your strength to this generation,
Your power to everyone who is to come.

19 Also Your righteousness, O God, is very high,
You who have done great things;
O God, who is like You?

20 You, who have shown me great and severe troubles,
Shall revive me again,
And bring me up again from the depths of the earth.

-- Isaiah 30:20 says: The Lord has given you the bread of trouble and water of suffering. But He, your Teacher, will not hide Himself any more. Your eyes will see your Teacher.

21 You shall increase my greatness,
And comfort me on every side.

-- This last verse reminds me of the next verse in that previous Isaiah passage: Your ears will hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it," whenever you turn to the right or to the left.

God goes ahead of us, paving the way. He stands behind us, in case we fall. And He stands on either side of us, directing our paths. If we walk with Him, He walks all around us and encamps us with His presence and protection. So whether we look to the right or to the left, He will be there. He comforts us on every side.

they're finding their lives

abeja88@yahoo.com — Thu, 11 May 2006 02:31:10 GMT

A VOICE CALLING OUT

I hear a voice calling out
I hear a voice in this wilderness
Where darkness has reigned here for so long
Ground is being taken

The trumpet sounds
And Your glory touches the ground
And we all stand in awe
Who is this?
This glory far beyond us
I hear a voice

I hear a drum beating
Heaven's drawing near
The sky will open up
People are being healed
I hear a voice

[chorus:]
Heaven's battle cry
Rise
See the sun light what was hidden
Heaven's heartbeat
See it moving
What was a whisper is now
A voice calling out

I see a generation rising up
No longer accepting lies
Running to the battlefield
And losing their lives

I see a generation rising up
No longer accepting lies
As a band of worshipers run to the battlefield
They're finding their lives
They're finding their lives
I hear a voice

[Chorus]

returning

abeja88@yahoo.com — Wed, 10 May 2006 02:16:42 GMT

It's been 3 months since I last posted on here. Crazy. I recently deleted my MySpace, so maybe I'll write here more often again. So since February, I turned 18, I went to Mexico with my church, and I made different college plans. tada!

all of the clouds will go away

abeja88@yahoo.com — Fri, 10 Feb 2006 00:34:29 GMT

I'm feeling nostalgic again. Which is actually pretty entertaining. Ok think about it... one day, LiveJournal, Xanga, Myspace... they're all gonna shut down. And all of these thoughts and memories will be erased. From the internet at least. I used to write on here a lot more. I'd like to write more again, like I used to. But sometimes I just don't really feel all that "inspired" to write. Especially not when it's about lame, pointless, everyday, boring things. Well when I woke up this morning, I truly felt that "spring is in the air". I know it's only February. But there's that certain smell, that certain quality to the air that is there only when Spring is coming. I decided I like Spring. It's sunny but not HOT. I also decided that I like the length of my hair right now, and so I want to get my senior pictures taken SOON. What am I doing? I'm wasting time. I need to finish my homework. now.